We love technology here at the Ranch Pen about as much as Kip of the Napoleon Dynamite movie, so when a few weeks ago on a cold Saturday afternoon my sister called asking if I wanted the link to a live video feed of a friend who was competing in the final round of a colt starting challenge in Nevada, I said, why not? Even though my sister and I are middle-aged, ultra-conservative Christian ladies, we are really with it technologically speaking. Why not put that to work for us on a cold afternoon and cheer on our young friend in his horse training endeavors from the comfort of our homes? It would be almost as good as actually being there in the stands.
I got signed up and settled in to watch on the computer where the live feed’s camera was trained on the exact center of the indoor arena. Nothing was happening, even though it was past time for the start. I didn’t give up, however. I’m familiar with country folks and our concept of time, and figured the camera guy had got held up shooting the bull with somebody. I went and fixed myself a cup of tea and settled in again. Still nothing but a narrow view of the empty arena. I texted my sister.
Danni: Hey, I’m not getting anything. Are you?
(Event starts about then. We think. But it’s hard to say since the camera is fixed in the middle of the arena and the competitors are evidently to one side getting introduced.)
Sis: What a lame-o video
Danni: might be awesome if they actually focused it and etc. Is our friend in it?
Sis: He’ll be going last since he’s in the lead
Danni: I only saw a few old guts getting introduced (my phone corrected guys to guts.)
gut guy goes. From what we can see, he and his horse are pretty impressive.)
Danni: Wow. The horses only have 2 1/2 hrs work on them?
Sis: Yes. Pretty amazing
Danni: Yeah. I could do that if I didn’t fall off (horses) so much
(time passing. The competitor briefly flashes across the center of the arena)
Danni: Worst video ever
Sis: Quick!!! Look! Whoops, too late. You missed him
(Time passes. We talk about other stuff.)
Danni: Did any gals get through to the finals?
Danni: I wonder if any gals make it through–hey! this guys in plain view!
Sis: They should hire a lady to run the video department
Danni: No kidding. Even I could’ve done better than this with my iPhone. Surely someone in the crowd has an ol’ iPhone
Sis: You’d think
Danni: Tell me if you detect our friend at any point
Sis: 10-4, good buddy
Danni: That’s a pretty nifty little roan I love blue roans.
Sis: Meh, I’ve seen better. Hahaha
Danni: Is this guy number 2?
Sis: I dunno. can’t understand hardly anything they’re saying.
Danni: They are speaking in ancient Egyptian. Maybe that horse is red. The video quality is as bad as the sound
(Time passing. twiddling thumbs)
Danni: Where’s the action?
Sis: On either side out of our line of vision is a tarp they have to step on, and over, and planks they have to cross. it’s a good thing we have imagination
Danni: It comes in handy at times like this
Sis: Also a small log they have to pull
Danni: I hope our friend wins or I will feel slightly ridiculous
Sis: This is a ripoff
Danni: Ok here we go! Got a picture of August on a horse
Oh. Never mind
Sis: Who in hooey is August?
Danni: Oh for pity’s sake. A GUY on a horse is what I was trying to say but the phone corrected me and besides that moment has long passed
(The competitor #3, or so, has disappeared beyond the camera view. Again we have an empty arena and garbled talking, but we are still hopeful to glimpse our friend eventually.)
Sis: Does your lame-o video go to commercials at maybe exciting times?
Danni: It’s hard to say, but I believe so. My live stream is junk as well
Danni: Who’s this guy? I had to restart (My stream kept freezing and needing lengthy restarts)
Sis: I think I might have been happier never knowing about this live feed
Danni: I need to check and see if the person in charge is an Okie. This is pure okie
(Lots of time passing, brief glimpses of competitors, garbled sound)
Sis: So far we’ve used up 2 hours that I will not get to live again, and ate almost
2 bags of a few chips.😳 (I crossed out the quantity of chips Sis consumed because I would’ve wanted her to do that for me.)
Sis: This should be our friend (At last!)
Danni: Ok I’m all ears.…Seriously?!…I get a glimpse on occasion but the sound is just garbage Ack! You’ve gotta be Kidding me! A commercial?!
Sis: Bwah What good??😩 We had to restart
During that last, mad scramble, between the restart and the commercial, Sis and I managed to sorta see approximately thirty seconds (not the same thirty seconds) of our friend’s ride. But, hey…if not for technology, we would’ve missed it!
Until next time, God bless all y’all and enjoy The Isaacs tearin’ up Daniel Prayed.
*The text conversation was edited a little to provide clarity, cut out boring stuff, and protect the innocent.
**Our friend placed second out of the top colt starting dudes in the US